Doing Something Without Knowing The Full Why?

I was hanging out with my friend’s parents when I was visiting her in London. They told me that if they were in India, they would have gone to a temple in Palani. I asked them why they had to go on this particular day - is there any logic? Because what I have realised is that the Indian rituals and rites have a scientific reason behind them. The folks who created them knew that most human beings need motivation, so the rites/rituals are a way for them to do the things that are good for them. Now, somewhere along the way, we lost the reasoning, and what was left were the rites and rituals. Anyway, so my friend’s dad thought about it and said, ‘See - I do not know the reasoning behind it. But all the people before us have been doing it for ages, so it is very difficult for us to stop doing it suddenly.’ That made sense to me.

Just two weeks ago, we adopted a two-year-old girl from India. Yes, I know I sneaked it in here - more on it in the upcoming blogs. I had a different understanding of rituals as we adopted her. What do I mean by that? So, in my family, a newborn child has her ears pierced, and her head shaved so that we donate the first hair to our temple. The first dress that they wear is the used one from another baby. All the family members come to see the baby with gifts and give their blessings. There are trips to the temple involved.

We find a remembrance of our true self inside a ritual.

After finishing all the legal and embassy items, we reached my parents’ house. I took her to a salon, shaved off her hair and stored the hair in a bag for my parents to donate to the temple. The next day, we went and got her ears pierced and got anklets. And when a couple of people came to see her - it was so nice. Now, I am not a religious type at all - in fact, if you ask me, I would have said I am not the one for rituals and rites. But I found myself doing these without even thinking about it.

Why? Because it helped me integrate her into our family, and made the fact that she is our daughter more real; and now, when she grows up and talks to her cousins, she can say she also went through the same stuff. Now, the ear piercing is done because it has acupuncture benefits - babies eat better when we do that. And it is done for all babies in our family regardless of whether they are a girl or a boy. Hair - I am not sure if it makes the hair grow any stronger or not. Now, I did not follow these rituals to the T, but I still did them at least symbolically. In fact, it was important to me that I do them even though, for my husband, these are not only foreign but, I guess, in some ways shocking, as in Western cultures there are very few rituals like head shaving or ear piercing. Whereas here - even the neighbours or strangers on the train will ask where the hair is being donated to.

The function of a ritual as I understand it, is to give form to human life, not in a way of a mere surface arrangement but in depth.

In fact, the adoption has brought out more cultural differences between Indian and American cultures than marriage. So, it has been an education for us in that way as well.

So, never say never. As my friend’s dad said - there was thought put behind these rituals and rites by the people who created them. It’s a pity that we don’t have that reasoning. But for now - let’s carry whatever traditions make sense to us in whatever way.

Are there any such items or activities that you do in your life?