Why do some people organize and some prefer chaos?

‘I am a key stakeholder in your life - so you should treat me accordingly.’ I said. And my husband said, ‘No, you are not my stakeholder but my wife.’

‘We should have a weekly standup or huddle where we review our week and share our calendars.’ I suggested, and my husband flat-out refused.

My take on this is that people who want to lead chaotic lives will do so even when options are offered that would lead to a less chaotic life. See, I am of the camp that if everybody followed a kanban board (a system for organising tasks/words), the world would be a better place. There are two kinds of people: those who can categorise and those who don’t. Until I met my husband, I did not know that there were people who woke up in the morning not knowing what to do. I had my life planned out even on vacation or weekend - ok, that was a little obsessive but very efficient. So, when I met my ‘go with the flow’ husband, I had trouble with my routine and plan until I compromised. And my life became better as I learnt to intentionally not make plans. My default is still to organise and plan.

In fact, when I am stressed, organising something makes me feel better. For the longest time, I kept one of our spare bedrooms empty because it was good to have that empty space. I also make sure that bookshelves in our house have an empty shelf. It’s like having space is a reflection of my mind - that’s one of the reasons I hate shopping. In fact, I think I am allergic to shopping. Too much shopping makes me dizzy, and I feel overwhelmed and like I cannot breathe. It is suffocating.

It still amazes me when people thrive on clutter - it’s like if things are too clean or organised, it really bugs them. What is the reason behind the preferences? Anyways, to get back to the blog’s starting point, some very efficient frameworks make communication, tasks, roles, and responsibilities very clear. Like, if I am a stakeholder, you will keep me updated at the right times, whereas the title of ‘wife’ is very subjective when it comes to communication, regardless of how long you have been married. This is where office vocabulary comes in handy - as working in teams, collaboration becomes easier when you have a common language and framework for things like Huddles, Stakeholders, Kanban boards, task lists, etc. But, for some reason, my husband does not prefer those, just like clutter vs organisation.

Maybe this is my blind spot - this is why you would want your life to be inefficient. Maybe it’s because it’s the most efficient way for them. What is efficient for me might not be efficient for me - just like how some people do something way before it’s due, while others wait until the last minute, even though studies show that working under pressure is not the most desirable way to do it. But, for some, this is the only way to get things done.

I guess at the end of the day, it takes all kinds of people to make the world. Imagine if everybody in the world was like you - yes, you might think life would be easier, but really, I don’t think I want too many of me out there - it would be an exacting place to live. So, let’s enjoy the diversity we have that comes with letting people be.

So, what is your diverse contribution to the world?