God Grant Me Patience - And I Am Not In A Hurry

Like peeling layers of an onion, some lessons also reveal their depths when you are ready. One such lesson for me, which I am unravelling now, is the dismissiveness. I cannot tell you when I started this; probably at a young age. If I am not interested in what the other party is saying, I dismiss it. Or if I do not like the person, I dismiss whatever they say.

Have you ever experienced something like the following: Let’s say you are addicted to reading books, you find it hard to put the book down when something exciting is happening in the book, or if you are a Kindle reader like me, when it reaches the last 15%, you know you are going to stay up to read it. It’s almost like you have no choice but to keep turning the pages. And then one day you suddenly realize that you can keep the book down right when the plot is about to get exciting. And with that comes a certain kind of freedom - where the book and the plot do not rule you - but you are your own master - you read at your own pace for your own enjoyment - not compelled by the plot or book. And the ability to put the book down is a sign of personal mastery.

And usually, when a breakthrough like this happens, it impacts all parts of your life - suddenly, you notice things you were enslaved to before having no control over you now. Like, even when you are speaking to someone you detest, you can listen to what they are saying without letting your personal bias cloud your judgment. Yes, that’s the word I was looking for, ‘personal’ - suddenly it is not personal for you - it is not your ego that is leading this, but something behind the ego. And that is so freeing - that is so liberating that you have tears in your eyes when you realize that you are not a slave to being driven by personal likes and dislikes, which in the very first place might not have been correct. Like you have been viewing the world through rose-coloured glasses, and suddenly the glasses come off, and now you see the real world. Of course, if I am seeing the world with green-tinted glasses, I wouldn’t know until they come off - this ties into the peeling layers of onion.

For the longest time, the phrase, ‘Don’t take it personally, or it’s not personal, really bugged me. What do you mean - don’t take it personally? And when I listened to Eckhart Tolle, I would get glimpses of what that would look like until recently - a sort of clinginess has just disappeared, and I can stretch and fly without any fear more than what I could do before.

Such insights are an act of grace - I am grateful to the universe for which I am the medium, and for whatever it is that makes me behave the way I do - right, wrong or indifferent. At least one layer of onion has been removed - how many such layers are there, who knows, but that is the fun, right? I am in no hurry - because this kind of thing cannot be hurried - a flower blooms at its own pace, and if you want to enjoy its fragrance and beauty truly, you have to wait until the time is right. There would have been a time when I would have said - ‘God, grant me patience, but please hurry up.’ And now, you know what I am ok - take your time because I want to enjoy what I have.

How about you? Have you peeled any layers of onions?