What Is The Problem Right Now?

I have a fascinating habit pattern.

dear future worry: I have met your cousins before. they all said I couldn’t make it and guess what? They were wrong every single time. Signed - your track record.

SITUATION: I am flying long-distance on my own, and I obsess over details: how to lift my baggage from the carousel, what if transit time isn’t enough, what if I get the middle seat, what if my luggage is overweight, and so on and so on. Once I get to the airport, things are fine - it does not bother me even if I miss my connecting flight.

SITUATION: I got a new role and I keep thinking about - if I was the right candidate, will I be able to do the job, how will I be able to do it, what if people think I got the job because I am a woman, what if people think I am not capable of doing the job and so on and so on. I actually show up at work/meetings, and I know what I am doing - these thoughts don’t even cross my mind.

SITUATION: We are going to a friend’s place for a party. I worry about whether I am wearing the right dress, whether I will get bored, whether I don’t really like people, why we are going there, and so on and so on. We get there, and I am the only one wearing casuals where everybody else is dressed up - it doesn’t bug me.

Moral of the story - I worry about things a lot in my head, but once I am in the situation in Present Tense, I am fine even if things don’t go my way. If something is happening right now, I can deal with it, and I do really well, too! What I cannot deal with is the idea that it is in my head. Now, as I mentioned, this is a pattern - so I do this a lot. Or, since I do this a lot, it is a pattern. I can analyse and say this makes me feel prepared; this is my mind’s way of feeling comfortable, but you know what I am coming to realise? It’s a lie - there is absolutely no reason for me to worry beforehand. It is our mind’s way of ensuring it has control over reality, even when the real world has nothing to do with its perception.

Ask yourself what problem you have right now. Not next year, tomorrow or five minutes from now. You can always cope with now, but you can never cope with the future. Nor do you have to. The answer, the strength and the right action will be there when you need it. Not before or after. Eckhart Tolle

Our minds are tricksters and very cunning, too. They know all how they can distract us. Because, like all entities on this planet, our mind wants to survive, and if we started using it like the tool it is, what would it do the rest of the time? How will it reinforce that it exists? We have given in to the relentless chattering of the mind because it takes a lot of strength not give in to it. It’s like the radio or the tv in the background - it keeps running constantly, and one day we find ourselves buying what the ad kept on telling us to do.

So, we have a nonstop chattering mind - our mind worries unnecessarily, and we lose a lot of energy over that. What options do we have?

Our minds trick us into thinking we’ll eventually let it go if we think about it enough - has that ever worked out for you?

OPTION 1: Give in to the chattering - what’s the point? The mind wants us to worry - it wants to ruminate about something nonstop - let it.

OPTION 2: Go to war with your own mind. Anytime it says anything, argue with it - beat it down. Suppose it is a debating match between you and the computer. A computer will wear you down because it is a machine.

OPTION 3: One step at a time while practising self-compassion every moment. Never give up, even if there are days/months when your mind takes over.

In Vipassana, Goenka ji gives the example of an untamed animal - when it is untamed, it causes havoc. But with constant, gentle training, the same animal that caused so much chaos will bring so much benefit. The animal trainer has to use all the tricks in the books based on the mood of the animal - be strict with it, accept it, cajole it, but with love. And results are bound to come. Similarly, we must strive to tame our minds so we can harness their great power.

What is the state of your mind right now?