Who Am I Being Right Now? What Is My Intent?

The most important question to ask yourself in any situation is, ‘Who are you being at this moment?’ I can hear my professor’s voice saying this in the Creativity and Personal Mastery course (CPM) I took at London Business School. The course is like an onion, and I am still peeling the layers. When I took the course, it resonated so strongly with me - I was obsessed. I ended up retaking the course as a teaching assistant. And for the next few years, I was a CPM retreat junkie - I would fly from London to New York, Boston or San Francisco for the weekend to just attend the retreat. So, the fact that I can still hear the professor’s voice is not a surprise; in some ways, I have internalised the course - a bit like Vipassana, I guess. Both of which I am very grateful for.

Anyways - so what does it mean, Who are you being at this moment? Before that, a bit of context - almost two years ago, I had written this blog about levelling up in life. And every so often in life, I find myself looking at myself in a different light - a sudden realisation that situations that would get to me, now I laugh and play with, things that would bring me down - I look in the eye and deal with it. Usually, this happens when I have learnt some new rules to play at the new level, and one of the rules is a question I ask myself before any interaction or when I am not centred. And the question is, ‘What is my intent when I say this?’. For example, today we had a status update call with a delivery lead who is not doing his job, and I called him out on everything he had not done. I asked myself what my intent was, and I realised that I wanted to show him where he failed. And I decided to back off and try another approach - so instead, I told him what I would have done, but it is his choice. I just asked questions instead of having an agenda. The interaction felt kinder, and I got my point across. The realisation that I can get my point across without beating the other person over their head is new to me. See, the fact is I don’t do subtle subtly :).

I have asked myself, “What is my intent?” and it has brought awareness to my own intentions. Some of them are not nice. However, when I ask myself this question, I have to be kind to myself and not judge myself. I am like a child learning this skill, asking myself questions and altering my habit patterns, which won’t happen overnight. And if I berated myself over every wrong intention I had, I would never get anywhere. The thing is, just because I have an intention does not mean I have to act on it - and that right there is personal mastery of a small kind. I am not a slave to my unconscious intention. This question shines light on it - and just like that, darkness goes away.

Isn’t it amazing when you find a light switch like that inside of you? I am in that stage where every time the light goes on, I wonder in amazement like a little child. I want to savour this newness and absorb it, as soon as this also becomes routine, until the next level.

Are there similar light bulb moments in your life?