Here Comes The Strict Sergeant - Warning!

I came back from one of my ten-day Vipassana meditation courses. These courses are run on a donation basis - either money, time, or both. When I sit (as a student) in these courses, I am served by servers who donate their time to the course. Every other year, I also serve the course. You can play various roles - kitchen manager, in the kitchen, or as a student manager. This time, I got assigned the Student Manager role, which basically means I attend to the needs of the students, which range from getting them shampoo to cough drops. Another part of the role is ensuring the students follow the rules, like meeting in the meditation hall on time. As a first-time student, it is confusing, so I am there to ensure they can meditate. I had roughly ~20 students to manage, and it is amazing how many requests can arise. The first three to four days are long and tiring for a student manager as the students get used to the timetable and meditation, which is hard work. So, I would wake up at 5 AM, meditate three times and go to bed at 10:30 PM - while meeting their myriad needs. I remember one of the days my checklist included items such as WD40, Shampoo, Laundry Detergent, Special Meal, and Dead Frog. In every meditation session, I had to ensure everybody was in their seat. After the fifth day or so, it becomes more of a rhythm - there are still one-offs, but both the students and I have been meditating, which also has a calming effect.

The most significant advantage of serving a course is having space to practice meditation as we go about our daily lives unabashedly. There is space to practice it in a supportive environment where meditation is expected. My practice has always grown stronger after every course, including serving in different ways. Sometimes, it is fascinating to observe what you have learnt without your knowing.

On the last day of the course, noble silence is lifted so that the students don’t get a shock as they integrate back into the world. They love to talk and finally interact with fellow meditators with whom they have taken the ten-day silent course. On the last day, they use every break to chat and have conversations. I finished my briefing with the teacher and returned to the dorm - a group of students were talking there. I went into the dorm and realized that some students were sleeping, so I went out to remind them to keep their voices down when they returned to the dorm and to turn the lights off at 10 PM.

When they saw me coming, one commented, ‘Here comes the sergeant.’ I went to them and reminded them to keep it down as they returned to the dorms before 10. As I walked back, I remember thinking that the statement about me being a sergeant did not bother me. I remember clearly hearing the words - and realizing that it is my reaction to the word that colours how I view that statement. The student spoke the words - ‘Here comes the sergeant.’ My mind has a particular association with the word Sergeant and what it means - and in my past experiences, it has been a negative association. And my ego does not like that word, as it tarnishes the image I have built of the great Anu. My mind keeps reacting throughout the day, and my ego likes or dislikes it. Meditation teaches me to detach from this attachment with Me/Mine/I. I remember the clarity I had at this incident, for which I am grateful, as I begin to see how the external and internal worlds interact. A simple word, such as Sergeant, can cause so much inner turmoil. Most of the issues in my life are because of that.

This is the beauty of serving—it all comes together. I remember the meditation in action—this one incident clearly, and there were many other instances where my internal and external worlds came a lot closer. At times like this, I can only express gratitude for becoming a better version of myself and apologize for any harm I might have caused anybody in ignorance.

What are you grateful for?