Me and My solitude Often Have Great Conversations...

When I was in London, one of the Harry Potter movies was going to be released in theatres. I was a huge Harry Potter fan—I would drink tea at midnight to stay up and finish the book. So, when I knew the movie would be released, I had to go - now my friend had no interest, and my husband was out of the country. I decided to go on my own, which was my first. I showed up with fries from Nandos and hot sauce to be smuggled into the theatre. I had never felt so underdressed in my life - the audience was all dressed as some character from the movie. It was an immersive experience, but that was when I realised I enjoyed going to movies alone.

Not only movies—it dawned on me after that experience that I enjoy my company. It is easier to enjoy solitude when I am with crowds, so going to London, Sydney, or India on my own is a trip I would like to look forward to. Once there, I love roaming the crowded streets—just walking among strangers. Walking down the terminal to the gate, I feel as if I am invisible, bringing me closer to myself. Isn’t it ironic that I feel as if I have space when I am in crowds? Sometimes, I get the same feeling when I am at home alone. And after a ‘stressful experience’, I crave that alone space even more.

I might be reading a book or watching a movie, but it is different when it is just me. Or, if I am journaling on a plane, it is different. I am more authentic - I have space to settle deep down and get in touch with what is happening. And, I am going through a similar phase now - especially after just doing a ten-day Vipassana meditation course. Maybe that’s why - sometimes the course brings up a lot of unconscious thoughts trying to worm their way to the conscious level.

When I travel alone, there is not much reason to talk. I make sure I don’t give my fellow passengers the impression that I am the talking type. Hence, there is a certain quiet stillness already, and as I watch people, it’s like my internal chatter subsides—if that makes sense. There is a difference between lonely and alone. Lonely, to me, indicates you want something, and alone means you are good as you are. Neither is good nor bad - it is what you need now. The most important thing is to be aware of what state you are in and honour it. And if you believe in a friendly universe, it will give you the right opportunities to be lonely or alone.

It is a good practice to indulge yourself with solitude once in a while. It is good to assess where your life is headed and if you are headed in the same direction. It is good to sit back and check if the steps you take on your life journey are your own or dictated by society. Whether we like it or not, our minds are conditioned by the company we keep, and most of the time, we do not have control over the company we keep. So, it is good to check inside and see if there is alignment.

Change is the only permanent thing, and we keep changing. And how will we know ourselves if we do not stay in touch with what is changing within? Is the internal YOU in sync with the external YOU?