How Important Is - Who Gets The Credit?

“If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” This is a philosophical question and can be interpreted in many different ways. The questions that pop into my mind are - does it matter that nobody has heard? Does it matter if the tree is the only one listening to the sound? Does it have any impact?

Why this quote and pondering, you ask? Let me explain one of the paradoxes in my life, but before that, some situations.

Situation 1: At work, I am mentoring someone. Their style differs from mine, and I think even their values are different. Long story short - they had written an email to senior leadership as a mentoring project. I reviewed the email, and it lacked attention to detail, did not summarise key points, etc., so I rewrote it and sent it back to them so they could see what was missing. We talked about it afterwards - they could see the ‘opportunities’ and they sent the email. Leaders liked it and said they have no questions - that is a big compliment, which means the email was perfect.

Situation 2: I am leading an initiative at work and am an intuitive leader. I assess the situation, people, and work and then decide how to organise it. If I may say so myself, I am really good at it, too. I could sense that this initiative would work better with workstreams, so I created the workstreams, asked people which ones they would like to lead, provided the vision, and as a team, we worked on it together. One of my colleagues on this workstream is co-leading another workstream, and he pretty much copied this idea of mine and is getting kudos for it.

There have been multiple situations like this, where people copied and used what I did. Now, I have absolutely no problems with it, as I would rather be followed than a follower (only very few people fall into the category where I would follow them). However, if they do not give me credit or acknowledge me, then I feel upset because I feel as if they are taking advantage of me.

With this, we come to the crux of the blog—how to manage the feeling of being taken advantage of. On the one hand, I know I should be happy helping others. Conversely, I am not at peace when others take advantage of me. What can I do until I build the muscle to be at peace with it? I guess being aware of it is the first step. I could ponder the question - why bother me so much? Do I feel they will overtake me? Do I think people will forget about me if they don’t mention it? Does their taking credit reduce my importance in any way? Is it worth confronting them? Should I tell others they copied me and are reaping the benefits? Or, is it my Ego that is the problem? Another take - trust that the universe is friendly and everybody (including me) will get their due. Or is it my insecurity about my strengths? Am I jealous of other people?

I don’t know - but it is a paradox. I want people to follow me - after all, my vision is to ‘Be the best version of myself and inspire others to do the same, every day.’ But when they do precisely that, I am threatened if I am not recognised. I guess some questions are never answered until one day I wake up and realise that I am living the answer.

Do you have any such paradoxes in your life?