Do You Have To Say Something When You See Something?
July 26, 2025 · by anuwinnie
“If you think you are special, so is everybody else,” Eckhart Tolle said in one of his talks. The first time I heard this, it shocked my ego because I thought I was special, and it hurt to know that I wasn’t the only one. Don’t get me wrong; I know we are all unique, but the feeling of specialness I am talking about is difficult to describe. It’s more like I know I am meant for bigger things, or can do so much. Sometimes it is in comparison with other people - even when I write this, it sounds awful, more like, ‘I am better than most people.’ There, I have said it - yes, I think I have something different from others. Now, not sure if most humans go around thinking that thought, but what Tolle is saying is that everybody is special. Everybody is better than others in some shape or form. Knowing it isn’t just me is a hard pill to swallow.
Let it be instead of let it go
My brain: Don’t say anything. Let it go. Take the high road. My mouth: Listen here asshat.
Because, in some sense, I guess my identity is tied to being unique. Growing up, I never belonged anywhere, like a girl from the South of India living in the North. And then being the black sheep in the family - and now in an interracial marriage - my norm has always been different from other people’s norm. Not having a norm is my norm. Anyways, I digress. What I really wanted to explore in this blog is this unstoppable desire to say something when I see something. At work, if a sub-optimal decision is being made, then I have to speak up; I cannot keep quiet even if the decision is politically not viable. It’s like I don’t care - and it bugs me even more if people know about it but don’t do anything because it is easier to keep quiet. You know it’s like everybody knows the Emperor is not wearing any clothes, but nobody is willing to speak up. I walk in, and my first words are spoken out loud: ‘Oh my god - he is not wearing anything.’ Usually, people ignore the comment, making me repeat it more and more. Especially when it is clear that it is not working for anybody - see if somebody wants to roam around naked, I have no problem, you do you. But if it interferes with our ability to do our work, bringing down morale and causing unnecessary tensions, then something needs to be done about it. Many well-intentioned people will tell me I should leave this alone, but I do not have the muscle to do so.
The question is, should I? Who knows, maybe there is a bigger meaning behind this? And is it worth my time to call it out and bring all the attention to me? Before we go there, let’s go back to my childhood. As a young girl growing up in a conservative family, I was always afraid that my parents/society might get me married off or stop me from doing engineering or reading books.. I don’t know. That is why losing control is scary for me even now, when I have the influence/authority over my life. As a child, I had to speak out loudly whenever I got an opportunity so that people would hear me - and I guess I carried that habit into adulthood, where it might not be needed.
If you want to say something and have people listen then you have to wear a mask. If you want to be honest then you have to live a lie.
The challenge for me is to separate situations where I am reacting out of habit from situations where the circumstances really demand it. I am guessing that whenever that pattern is triggered, where I feel I have no control over what will happen, I speak out. This is sometimes valid, but I don’t think I need to shout until I am hoarse. Maybe it is ok if the Emperor is naked. Perhaps I will make peace with the scared inner child - I don’t know. Or could I do this more subtly? Or, Keep calm and carry on is what is needed? What I do know is that this latest role has churned up a lot of things that I need to unravel to broaden my being—a much-needed chapter in my life journey. I have also gone through such chapters before, and every time I emerge stronger. After all, my vision in life is to be a better version of myself every day and inspire others to do the same. That means at times having to unlearn what I learnt before, which kept me safe - it requires me to face my fears because they only exist inside of me. I am scared, but I know I will go forward because that is what I do.
Have you ever called out that the Emperor is naked or battled the fear within?