Why Watch Yourself Like A Hawk Constantly- Really?

A few days ago, I attended a week-long intensive leadership training. It was excellent, and I got a lot out of it. One of my takeaways was that leadership is a full-time job. You are always under a lens; what you say and how you say it matters a lot. Nobody wakes up in the morning and decides I will lose my cool today, right? But there are times when emotions take over, and we react instead of responding. When I get excited or am passionate, then all bets are off - I speak fast, and I have to get what’s in my head out. Whether the audience gets it or not is secondary. Now, that makes me feel good but does not achieve anything - in fact, both sides are frustrated. I am wondering why they are not getting it, and they are intensely wondering what I am trying to explain.

It’s like I’m in a fog when I get into that state. Insights like these are why I am so grateful for the training. Hearing it from a group of strangers with no agenda except to help you - resonates loudly. One of them told me I connect dots extremely fast in my head, but I have to bring people along, pause, and give them time. Now, I know I have to bring along people, right - what is the point if nobody has caught up to where I am? I get that. The issue is that at that moment, emotions have taken over, and I have no clue what is going on - so the trick is to be aware when the emotions take over. And that’s where the saying ‘Watch Yourself Like A Hawk’ comes in. I meditate, so for the most part, I am aware of how I am feeling - except when I am not. And now, the lesson is to be aware when I am not - it is a conundrum, right? That is why the practice is now to be alert and always like a hawk - up the game.

Let’s switch to meditation - it is also similar to when you first start, your awareness is weak. So, you are initially aware of the intense sensations like pain, but as the practice strengthens, you become aware of subtle sensations as well. And there comes a point when you are always mindful of sensations all the time. I bring this up here because it is very similar to the leadership lesson of watching yourself like a hawk all the time. The fact that I picked it as a takeaway means I am ready for the lesson. I have resorted to the basics of exercise to build this muscle, which is noting down my mental chatter, but this time with a twist - I note the physical sensations that arise in my body with the emotions. And it is fascinating - when I have something to say in a meeting, and I am impatient - it’s like the words are ready to pop out of my shoulders, and the blood rushes into my ears. And if somebody is annoying, then there is an intense throbbing in my body. Now, this has been happening since I was a little child - and when these sensations occur in my body, I react to them. The emotions take over, and I am their puppet, but the mere act of noticing them removes their control over me. Because I am not them but instead the one observing them - this switch from being the victim to witness is the key. And it takes years of practice to make the switch, but when you make the switch, it’s like you live in a different world. The difficult conversations are now merely conversations. Annoying people miraculously get another opportunity, retire, find another job or even better, turn over a new leaf.

These changes happen in a moment, but it takes a lifetime to get there—hence, leadership, meditation, or awareness is a full-time job. Do you have a full-time job?